You know it's there;
Lurking in your mind somewhere,
Waiting at any given time,
To tear your life asunder yet again.
So you wait.
You worry.
Sometimes you forget but then your ever vigilant lil' brother queries you on why you are not sleeping,
And the reminder jackknifed you where it hurts;
Bringing back the nightmare of those dark times,
When your mind just wasn't,
And your sanity too in question.
And it's a waiting game,
That you are always afraid of losing,
And the echoes of the voices in your head,
Makes you that less convinced that the demon is far away,
And you pray and pray to a higher power,
That the day when it comes again,
Won't be near,
and won't be worse than those previous days;
Nor last as long.
It has a name;
Schizo- affective disorder -
And it likes to shred my life to pieces,
And this is my terrible truth;
That my life is held at ransom,
By something that I could neither fathom nor overcome... and I wait... and wait for a future rife with uncertainty by what fate dictates and all I can do is ride the journey and hope I'll come out all right on the other side of my life's great divide.
