Dearest Nick,
I don't know how much more I can say to you about how I feel or how I think you feel... but I am tired of forever being in the shadows, hidden as if I m a secret shame that you and the brothers just have to keep hidden.
I don't know and I don't pretend to know what goes through my head; but I think we have all have had enough of my delusional drama.
Poor Lauren and Kevin, Howied, AJ and Brian.
And U.
For Always there is you.
Do not look for hidden meanings there are none intended here.
I AM THROUGH.
Whether what we feel is reall REAL and you and I actually touched one another's deep in the subconscious level... I Am Through.
As you are aware my time is numbered and I do not want to spend the rest of my life, crying my heart out cause you still for reasons known only to you cannot bear to acknowledge what we've shared for 16 years.
I don't get why?
Because I'm not a superstar like you?
Because I don't shine bright enough?
Whatever it is Nick, whether you intend to or not... all you have ever done for twenty years is hurt me and make my heart shatter in million tiny pieces.
I cannopt beear it anymore.
I am sorry that I am not the woman you could honestly and consciously love.
For what it is worth, I will never stop loving you.
Thank you for the songs... they always meant the world to me...
"Let it be, if we are only just dreamers..."
GOODBYE>
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