0800 hrs. 8/7/2013,
My
Office, Bukit Jalil,
Kuala Lumpur, Malaysia.
Dear Nick,
I know I should do this in person
and not tell you what I have to say in this letter. However, I do not trust
myself not to cave in and give in to your persuasion and sweet talk were I to
tell you this in person.
Forgive
me for not being strong enough. L
I
know you promised that things will work out, that we will be able to overcome
the odds in the end. It isn’t that I don’t believe you, not that I don’t trust
you or have faith in you; the thing is, I am doing this because I cannot bear
to see you throw away your life and what you have worked so hard to achieve for
the sake of our relationship.
I
know you and I have never been in love with anyone else other than with each
other. I know we were created to be each other’s other half.
You
are my eternal soul mate and I am yours. I know our bond and attachment is
priceless and that is a gift that we must not squander and treat as a trifle
matter.
Knowing
all these, there is something else that trumps each of those very strong
undeniable reasons; our lives just were not meant to collide.
Nick,
I know what I am and what I am not. The same applies to you.
I am
a simple, normal, under-achieving, mentally and physically challenged old maid.
You
on the other hand are ridiculously far from leading a simple, normal regular
life that the notion that you could ever change and be a regular Joe who as a
regular 9-5 job and be in a relationship with a regular Jane is not only
laughable, it is not feasible at all nor is it very logical.
I do
not know what trickery Fate is playing on us when It decided to create the two
of us as an inseparable whole, but I am tired of accepting Fate’s decree when I
cannot in all good conscience accept Its wicked insistence that you and I were
meant for each other when I know for a fact that in all the ways, hows and whys
of the world, you and I just do not make much sense being together. It does not
compute. It is not logical. And it cannot in any circumstances real or
imaginable be anything resembling or imitating something which could be
acceptable.
So,
my darling Kyle, I have to break our hearts and say goodbye to you and hope you
will respect my decision and accept it as gracefully and with as much
understanding an acceptance as you can manage while nursing a broken heart.
I
love you and always will and I have a feeling I will never love another man for
the rest of my remaining life as I have passionately, sincerely, genuinely,
deeply and eternally, loved you for 17 years.
I am
sorry it has to end this way and that we failed to reach our Elysium together because
I just cannot bear to see you being in constant consternation about our very
complicated relationship.
I
wish you well and hope that your heart will mend and you will be able to love
once more, if not as deeply as you have loved me but at the least moderately
love someone else in the future enough for you to be able to conceive a life
with her.
I
love you and always will, now and forever, till the day I leave this earth and
beyond, per chance I am lucky enough to be accepted in Heaven.
Forgive
me.
Your forever love,
Hani
