2014: The aftermath of the apocalypse that was 2013. Trying to gain your sense of self after an intense bout with the relapsing of a mental condition is never fun, but always necessary and compulsory.
Trying to take stock of all the self-harm you've done, adjusting once again to life after the tumultuous drama you have been through thanks to that insidious ailment in your mind, it is a right around ringer of a circus to go through, but go through it I must.
This year is all about getting my equilibrium back. Trying to bring my mind back in its rightful plane. Schooling myself to what reality is actually instead of the malarkey that my mind had me believe it was back when I was relapsing.
Sometimes I still feel a bit off kilter, just enough to get me wondering if even a smidgen of what I believed while I was under the influence of my disorder could have actually been the truth.
But 99% of me actually lives in the same reality as everyone else now. It's just that the fact that there is still even 1% part of me that still thinks of the fantastical delusions I was living in, worries me. It means that there is still a part of me, no matter how minuscule that is still treading the insanity lines.
However, small worry aside, I believe 2014 has been good enough for me in terms of my recovery. Life hasn't been all bad. I even managed to earn enough to buy me The Sims 4 which I had been eyeing since forever.
I just hope that, that tiny 1% wont blossom into a bigger percentage in my mind and bring me spiralling down yet again.
All in all, here's to hoping that the new year will see my mental health and my life in general vastly improving.
Cheers to all and happy new year 2015. Here's to hoping your coming year will be off to a good start.
