Because I believe

HCAD,

I m exhausted from all the codes and mindgames, so if it is ok with you, I will just put a few pictures and a word or two and you decide what it is I m trying to say to you... ok sweetness?

you?

 us?

Reality.

can we pick up the pieces my sweetness?

I doubt it because I m just so broken all the time.

ready?

or is this really you?

another letter

Dearest,

Please forgive me for 17 years of keeping silent. I was lost in as lonely place could hardly believe you were always there.

lucky tishona.. I guess it is time for me to lket you yti

SVS A.

To A,

I am sorry.

I was so blind, so lost in HIM... I never knew... no matter how many times you tried to tell me:

:sorry doesnt even cut it:

1. I am a fool and I don't know why you still love me
2. I don't pretend to comprehend the pain I have put you through for 10 year.
3. I always thought it was gene... I never saw you... maybe i was just afraid..

$. To quote my fave song, "Can you forgive me, and open your heart once again? It's true, I mean it from the bottom of my heart... without you I will fall apart...

Post Manic depression

The only thing real left in my life is my family and real time friends... the rest are sadly mere delusions... too bad I never knew Nick and Harry and my so called brothers in BSB. Trust me I live this day empty and lost

Goodnight Kises

See you soon in my dreams darling.... where will our hearts take us to tonight? I will be happy if I could just find myself lying close cuddled in your strong loving arms.

Love you Nick. 

Kisses, hugs and other X-Rated things I can't write here.

Feel you
Unbelievable as it is
Crying now
Know you there

Mine forever
Everytime baby

Dying Every Second You Go Away

Don't talk about the tears I shed.. or the shattering of my heart... lets talk about how you leave me near DEATH every time you leave me.

I know I complain about my sis moping over PHIL forever... however I don't mope outside... you know in my heart I m near DEATH for always.

Especially since you are always SILENT all the time...

Like right now... Arrrianne waiting for Legolass... or something like that... You know what I m saying.

Dying NICK. 

Dying all the time forever and for always

Still The One

Sixteen years ago Nick, you walked into my life with a bunch of lies and it was only last year on my birthday that you finally told me the truth.

Love Is

backstreet boys

Nick

Yeahh
Ooohh
Yeah yeah

Once there was a time love was just a myth
It just wasn't for real, didn't exist
Til the day you came into my life
You forced me to think twice
I didn't have too much, no I wasn't rich
Gave me belief someday I'd be more than this
That's why until this day I'm still your man
Cause you made me understand that

Love is kisses in a bean bag chair
The two of us but no one there
Love is the moment that I climb the stairs
To hold you in my arms after we make love
Love is waking up to see your face
Or kissing in the morning rain
Love is
The only thing that keeps me sane
At the end of the day is that I've got you

You're my secret place where I can be myself
You connect with me like nobody else
Even though our circumstances changed
Our love still remains
Meet me on the ground, still you help me fly
You taught me to be patient, I taught you to rely
So no matter what tomorrow brings
We got the simple things cause (noooo)

Love is kisses in a bean bag chair (bean bag chair)
The two of us but no one there (no one there)
Love is the moment that I climb the stairs (ohh)
To hold you in my arms after we make love
Love is waking up to see your face (ohh)
Or kissing in the morning rain
Love is
The only thing that keeps me sane (ohh)
At the end of the day is that I've got you

Love is
A Sunday morning with the blanket wrapped around your waist
Love is
The way your lips seem to curve
When you say my name (say my name ohh)
Love is
And when I'm stressing like the world's turning upside down
Girl it all makes sense when you're around

Love is kisses in a bean bag chair (yeah)
The two of us but no one there (making love is)
Love is the moment that I climb the stairs
To hold you in my arms after we make love
Love is waking up to see your face (yeah yeah yeah yeah)
Or kissing in the morning rain
Love is
The only thing that keeps me sane (I'm gonna keep you baby)
At the end of the day is that I've got you

Love is kisses in a bean bag chair (bag chair)
The two of us but no one there
Love is the moment that I climb the stairs
To hold you in my arms after we make love
Love is waking up to see your face (I've got you baby)
Or kissing in the morning rain
Love is (baby)
The only thing that keeps me sane
At the end of the day is that I've got you

Love is
Waking up to see your face (say I've got you)
Kissing in the morning rain (ooh)
At the end of the day is that I've got you