How Justin Bieber Saved My Life

This is for all the Beliebers out there: Never say Never: Justin ALWAYS Cares

1. I was 17 when Nick Carter raped me and walked away and pretended he did no such thing for the following 17 years of his life.
2. Nick and I have been in love since even before he was in backstreet boys
3. but Nick could never acknowledge our relationship to the public
4. even now the worl knows that Nick Carter is engaged to the perfect lauren kitt and how long have they been together ? 5 years? that long. do the following equation:
5. nick was 10 and i was 11. nick raped me when i was 17 he was 16. I am 34 now he is 33. 
6. for 23 years i have stayed true and loyal to him. I gave him my everything and he never showed me he cared even once.
7. he never called after the rape he never said sorry but i know he still loves me because he writes those songs and says things on interviews that would only mean something to me. Like his initials NGC. 
8. No one knows this but Nicks real middle name is not Gene but Jean. But he changed it to Gene once I wrote a suicidal poem while he was dating Paris Hilton and I wrote TQ NGC.
9. What it means: Truthfully Questioning you Nick: Grieving or Cheating?
10. I have never felt loved or cherished or worthy of being loved after a lifetime of being ignored by my one true mate and he is still running around ignoring me while I know in his heart he just could never forget that HE is a Rapist. and he could never forgive himself. And because he can never do that he will never acknowledge that he loves me and i have had enough of 17 years of PTSD and being so lonely that I want to kill myself everytime I hear a BSB song or Nicks love songs which i know he wrote to give me hope.
11. Our song is the BSB song Spanish eyes and the latest of the new album Make Believe.
12. I would have forever stayed in a limbo had not one sweetl wrongly misunderstood BOY fell in love with my sweetness and did his best to cheer me up.
13. I have a chance at love again - the functional one, but still Nick can't and won't set me free.
14. So Beliebers, from @justinbieber https://twitter.com/justinbieber and myself please do note HATE on me for being 15 years older than Justin and stealing him away from all you gorgeous teenagers out there whose every prayer at night is to be the one Justin sings his songs for.
15. I know it is hard to accept when the one we love so much that we'd literally die for just doesn't love us the same way, but know this I would never replace the years of long and loving support you have given my best friend and new found love Justin.
16. And this is how I became the ULTIMATE Belieber.