Take Care

My fave BSB song EVER: Take care

Take Care is a Bonus Track on BSB latest digital downloadable SEA edition of In A World Like This. 

I actually couldn't stop crying when I first heard it.

Then when I looked up the lyrics, the tears fell again.

The song moved me and touched my very shattered heart and if I could tell the Boys how much their words affected me I would.

As it is, all I have is this blog and I pray that somehow, one day they will stumble on this post and read how much their work means to their fans who are always KTBSPA.

Never stop believin'

To the dreamers ready to give up dreaming: don't. You do not know when that dream will come true. It might seem like forever since you started dreaming and nothing seems to work out.

Don't give up.

Dreams are a necessity that you can't live without.

It does not matter if your dreams are strange, meaningless or inconsequential; dreams always have a purpose - you just do not know what it is there for yet.

So DREAM.

Never give up and do not stop chasing those wild, fantastical, illogical, senseless dream you have; one day it might come true - you will never know if you give up on them readily and easily.

For BSB and Nick

For You

Because you are too unrelenting in your quiet ways,

I have to start from scratch

Tell you what you should have already know;

I love you with all that I am,

Remain true even when you make me blue,

I will cry for you,

Walk on crushed glass set aflame,

Play the blame game

And never once forget to tell you -

You make me live

You gave me the chance to breathe,

You are the faith that kept me sustained

You love me again and again.

And still i have to wonder;

Does it really matter,

Do you really care,

Or has everything be me in my mind,

Believing you are there,

When actually you are nowhere to be found.

For Rob and Nick

I know you both will disagree with my POV... But that is only because you have been blessed with love luckily... But believe me... Take it from someone who is objective... Love is indeed just a lie.

We fabricate this notion of being in love and being loved because love gives you a false sense of security, contentment and achievement.

Truth is love is a mirage that we only see and believe in for our own sense of well being and attainment.

Sorry. If i made you guys think harder whether I am right or your. Love is really there and really true.

Because you cared

And I did not suspect the extend to which you were going to make sure that I live to see another day.

I was so blinded by pain that I could not see how hard you were trying to save me.or how upset you were that whatever measures you have taken had seemed to not work in stopping me from being so stupid and destructive.

I am just very grateful that you did not give up your effort to ensure me longevity.

Rob, I will forever and eternally be in your debt although I know you did not view your act as anything out of the ordinairy.

Thank you

Fixing my broken heart

Recipe for broken-heart-tonic

1. Tweet your fave artist/superstar that you follow ceaselessly
   
   
   
   
2. Allow yourself to remember if He let you go than it is HIS loss not YOURS
3. Remember once broken is not always twice shy
   
4. Deep breath, forgive, forget, MOVE ON.
5. Don't let bitterness rob you of a GOLDEN opportunity to meet the real ONE which was meant for you.
   
6. HAVE FAITH

My Obsession

Am I starstruck? No? Am I delusional? I was? Is what I feel real or superficial? I can't tell.

But what I do know that for twenty long years Nick had had a place reserved just for him in the inner reaches of my deepest most sacred part in my heart.

I do admit I am obsessive where he is concerned and I know that is very unhealthy. 

But for as long as he was single, even when he was in relationship with various gfs and the longest most lasting with Lauren before he proposed, to me he was fair game and one day by some deity's crazy plan there will come a time in my life when I would get a chance to win over his heart.

Okay.. I know. Sounding really close to being delusional... but I always believe in this saying, "Dream Big OR GO Home"

I know in all the odds that you could lay I would come out on the losing end if I was betting that Nick would even looked at me twice... but stubbornly the hope remains strong and intact; right until I heard the news of his engagement to Lauren.

It was a dichotomy of emotions I experienced when I heard that news; Happy for him, Despair for me.

Happy because I know he deserves the happiness he finds with Lauren and miserable for me because there goes my 'dream-time man' who visits me often and made my dreams so spectacular. Oh don't ask me how many times Nick appeared in my nighttime journeys. Throughout the years it would number in the thousands already. I would say from age 14 to 34 45% of my dreams had included Nick in one form or another.

Hmmm... having trouble concluding this post. I don't know what I should say to nicely round up my point..

Ok simply put one of the reason I am somewhat heartbroken now is cause Nick is getting ready to make a lifetime commitment to the women he had fallen for... I know it's silly of me because in no circumstance would a relationship with me ever been possible let alone plausible... I know this; but it still hurts - he was my very own secret lover since I was 14 and now he is committing his life to another woman?

OMG I am too silly for words. Lol...

Anyway, I AM happy for the both of them and wish them nothing but the best... but you know there will forever be a part in my heart with a gaping unhealed wound cause Nick exited it permanently.