BELIEVE

Note to self: When you feel like giving up, and feel as if nothing you do works out and that no one really cares what happens to you, all you have to do is BELIEVE:

B-breathe
E-easy
L-love
I-incredibly
E-exceptionally
V-vital
E-everytime

Your love matters to those who really know you. What you feel for them is like air for them to breathe and when you leave its like you suffocate them by taking away the love which sustains them.

Maybe this is too much of being self important, but you just have to remind yourself, that as much as it hurts you when they leave you its the same feeling for them when you give up on them. So just BELIEVE

For My Valentine

When I feel discouraged,
And my heart has shattered to pieces,
You remind me that love is still there.

When my world is falling apart,
And I want to just disappear,
You hold me fast and love me back to life.

I know I hurt you always,
By not believing in you,
By doubting that love is real,
But I know when I cry ceaselessly,
You are always there to comfort me.

I just want to say,
I love you this day,
And forever I will stay.

Thank you for Journals,
And sharing what you feel,
And telling me what LOVE means.

Insanity

Each step I take 
just gets harder every day
and I wonder if I'll ever be okay.

I sit here listening to songs that pains me,
Because every word sung,
Every melody I listen to,
Brings my mind right back at you,
And the vicious circle of self-doubt and self-recriminations
Starts over again.

I'm a mad girl lost in endless love song,
Trapped in delusions so real,
That I don't know what reality means any more.

Between the startling dreams 
And the compelling voices in my head,
I wonder if I should die instead
And then people be saying that life is worth more than this
And I try to believe,
but the incessant pain only promise grieve.

So I sit here and wonder,
Will the day ever come,
When the insanity will wash away,
Like rain after a moody day in July.

And I know even as I wonder this,
That such is my life,
That insanity is like a cruel relative,
That you'd love to be rid off,
But just can't cause blood is thicker than water,
And insanity can never be rid of by those mindless pills prescibed by well-intentioned doctors.