Daddy

Disown you I did at age 20,
You were mean and cruel to me,
I resented you with all that I was,
Such was the pain,
Directed each and every way.

You loved me still,
Despite my angry shrill,
Denying all you ever did,
Believing that you never really cared.

Bitter recriminations
I direct at your feet,
You were the knife making my heart bleed;
Such was the blinding anger,
That I did not see,
it wasn't you at all,
But merely psychotic me reigning free.

Even now, I resent you still,
You are always keeping me hostage behind the house grill,
Denying me freedom to function and live as I want,
Such is the hateful thought I build up in my head,
When sense fled and unreasoned sadness are all that's left.

Daddy love,
You know me better than I know myself,
Though my cruelty caused by my recurring insanity surely guts you,
You know I remain true,
Although I've made you incredibly blue,
You know in my hearts' of heart, I always love you and always will.