My Secret Love 3

I know it is wrong, but what can I do when my heart doesn't want to be right?

But I've made up my mind, and there is no turning back.

I am giving us until the end of the year and we will know by then whether we should go on or finally make a clean break with each other.

I have even written the 'Dear John' letter to send to him. I will post it here at the end of the year if that is where I'm heading - Heartbreak City.

It should not be too devastating after all, because this time it would be my own informed decision that would break us apart, and this time there will be no regrets and no more endless what ifs that I have been postulating ever since he walked out of my life at age 19.

This time I will know why our love ended - because I do not want to be a home-wrecker and should not put his lovely wife and kids through a wretched divorce just because their father and husband happened to still carry feelings for his very first love. 

So... to all intent and purpose I will be single once more once the New Year rolls in and will take time to recover from losing the only man I have ever loved in my entire adult life.

Was easier when I was deluding myself with a secret love affair with Nick Carter of BSB - it ache less and I knew from the begining it was never going to go anyway.

This hope that 'Darrel' dangles in front of me like I am a rabbit waiting for his generous serving of delicious and juicy carrots, is just too hard on my fragile, loving and forgiving heart.

The End