Unwell

How do you express your gratitude to someone who did you a tremendous kindness without ever having had the intention of doing so in the first place?

How do you let that same person know how he or she had touched your life and made it better than it was before being touched by that said kindness?

It is not an easy feat. Especially when that person doing that kindness is a superstar so far out of your league that it is difficult to connect with them and let them know how their existence and craft made yours greater by many ridiculous excessive degree?

I talk in riddles...

I just wanted to thank Matchbox Twenty for their inspiring and moving music but especially for the song 'Unwell' released in 2007.

Never had a song from any artist or band living or dead touched my heart and affected me so viscerally in such a personal and private way that sometimes if I allow myself the delusion I could almost hear Rob telling me in a kind way that although he wrote the song due to his experiencing panic attacks when he first moved to New York, he also meant for me to ascribe myself to the song as well.

The song is that close and reflective of my life that sometimes I can't help but gasped in awe whenever I hear the song, especially when I am going through moments when I have reasons to doubt my sanity.

The words: I'm not crazy I'm just a little unwell, I know right now you can't tell, but stay awhile than maybe you will see a different side of me, has been the soothsayer that had managed to keep my doubts and insecurities where my sanity is concerned at bay.

And for this wonderful act that Rob did unwittingly for me when he penned those words to Unwell, I will remain forever grateful, thankful and loyal as his ultimate fan.

Lyrics to Unwell

Staring at the ceiling 

Making friends with shadows on my wall 

All night 

Hearing voices telling me 

That I should get some sleep 

Because tomorrow might be good for something 

Hold on 

I'm feeling like I'm headed for a 

Breakdown 

I don't know why 

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell 

I know, right now you can't tell 

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see 

A different side of me 

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired 

I know, right now you don't care 

But soon enough you're gonna think of me 

And how I used to be 

Me 

Talking to myself in public 

Dodging glances on the train 

I know 

I know they've all been talking 'bout me 

I can hear them whisper 

And it makes me think there must be something wrong 

With me 

Out of all the hours thinking 

Somehow 

I've lost my mind 

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell 

I know, right now you can't tell 

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see 

A different side of me 

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little impaired 

I know right now you don't care 

But soon enough you're gonna think of me 

And how I used to be 

I been talking in my sleep 

Pretty soon they'll come to get me 

Yeah, they're taking me away 

I'm not crazy, I'm just a little unwell 

I know, right now you can't tell 

But stay awhile and maybe then you'll see 

A different side of me 

I'm not crazy I'm just a little impaired 

I know, right now you don't care 

But soon enough you're gonna think of me 

And how I used to be 

Hey, how I used to be 

How I used to be, yeah 

Well I'm just a little unwell 

How I used to be 

How I used to be