Terrified

Have you ever felt that your mind is playing tricks on you? That what is real is actually not and vice versa?

I just feel so lost nowadays and I don't know what troubles me so.

Apparently my delusions are catching up with me and running me down.

These thoughts that won't relent and I'm just spiralling all over the place and I don't know what to believe anymore.

Has everything that I experienced my entire life been a lie that I keep telling myself? Are the letters? Mails? The games we play? Are they all fabrication?

GOD DAMN IT! Is my entire life a lie?

Am I even alive now or have I died and not realised? Maybe I left behind my body but for certain sometimes I feel as if my soul is no longer here.

I AM NOT HER. I am nobody. Just a shell. I'm tired of fighting what seesm the world everytime I try to find some form of happiness. Like I wrote once a long time ago, the world just cannot stand to see me happy.