Insanity

Each step I take 
just gets harder every day
and I wonder if I'll ever be okay.

I sit here listening to songs that pains me,
Because every word sung,
Every melody I listen to,
Brings my mind right back at you,
And the vicious circle of self-doubt and self-recriminations
Starts over again.

I'm a mad girl lost in endless love song,
Trapped in delusions so real,
That I don't know what reality means any more.

Between the startling dreams 
And the compelling voices in my head,
I wonder if I should die instead
And then people be saying that life is worth more than this
And I try to believe,
but the incessant pain only promise grieve.

So I sit here and wonder,
Will the day ever come,
When the insanity will wash away,
Like rain after a moody day in July.

And I know even as I wonder this,
That such is my life,
That insanity is like a cruel relative,
That you'd love to be rid off,
But just can't cause blood is thicker than water,
And insanity can never be rid of by those mindless pills prescibed by well-intentioned doctors.