The truth

@nickcarter: You do know I wrote make believe with you in mind. Listen to the lyrics.

My dearest heart,

What I know and what I dare to let myself believe are two very disparate thing. After being labeled with the debilitating mental illness.. I have never been able to trust my judgements and you being relentless in keeping mum about every single thing.. Was really hard to believe that you were real.

Even when i felt the delusion creeping in again i made things up to convince myself not to give in to my insane urges.

Which is why i wrote that Darrel came back to me last may. In actual truth, last 33 birthday when you turned 32 i FELT your heart calling to mine.. If that made any sense.

I held on until July this year and even then i said it was darrell who came back.

Lol.. Irony is u really are Darrell and the reason he left is exactly the reason u left. Only i made him in the image of StalkingKyle cos he is just so damnably nice!

So now Darrell is back in my life but we are heading for heartbreak again because he is married with two kids.

I never trusted what i knew to be real; that it has always been you there, loving, caring n guiding me while i thread haphazardly through a life so filled with tragedy and pain that sometimes I walk blind.

Thank you for being strong and faithful when I had no strength to go on and no faith to guide me forward.

I love you; always had and always will.

Hani.