Misery of My Own Making

I Deserve:

1. all the pain I ever felt in my life
2. all the time i felt unloved
3. all the anger directed at my destructive behavior

I DON'T Deserve sadly

1. Your LOVE AND SUPPORT Nickolas Gene, Kevin, Brian, Howard, Alexander.
2. I would beg you to forgiveness but I deserve all the condemnation you would heap at my feet
3. but i am sorry
4. for years you tried to show me my erros... but i was so proud to be so misserable.
5. i am selfish, stupid, senseless and i deserve none of your loving care
6. you should have never let me lived
7. i am an ABOMINATION

TO NICK,

I KNOW YOU STILL SWEET THAT YOU ARE LOVE ME... AND YOU KNOW I ALWAYS LOVE YOU BUT YOU DONT DESERVE A PIECE OF SHIT LIKE ME.

you are welcomed to hate me forever and stay engaged to Lauren. I understand now why you won't cancel your engagement to her despite the fact that you have loved me forever.

i am sorry for forever hurting you and all the time i lash out at you

i guess we were never meant to be a family.

sorry forever,

your loser friend